Are you
a disfellowshipped JW or are you still in good standing in a congregation?
If so, are you active - that is do you regularly attend meetings and
conventions? Do you engage in the public preaching and report time?
No, I am not disfellowshipped. I am still in good standing
in my congregation although my activity has been greatly reduced from what it
used to be due to my health. Since 1998 I have been getting by with an average
of about two hours worth of sleep per night. Some nights I may get as much as
three or four hours while other nights I get no sleep at all, and yet I still
have to get up at 6 o'clock in the morning to go to work, five days a week. Back
in 2002 I was under a doctor's care for three months who tried out a different
drug on me every two weeks, but nothing helped. I saw no need to continue and he
finally gave up on me in frustration, thinking I wasn't being truthful with him
as no one can get by with so little sleep and yet still carry on his daily
activities. Yesterday (Monday), for example, after getting home from work I
dozed off for 15 minutes watching the 5 o'clock evening news, then snapped out
of it and was wide awake until around four in the morning when I finally fell
asleep until 5:20am, getting up at 5:50am to have a piece of bread and a cup of
coffee and drive to work. That is for me a typical day. I start at 7:30am and
work until 4:00pm. (Maybe I should throw my clock away, as I check it throughout
the night, wondering how many more hours before having to get up.) I sure look
forward to the weekends when I get the chance to rest. Most of the time I am
fatigued. But all this sleeplessness affords me much time to occupy my mind with
spiritual matters. I often get up at night to jot down some notes.
When our Circuit Overseer transferred to my younger brother's circuit, he told
my brother that he is very concerned, no, not about my physical health but for
my spiritual health, because of my reduced activity. My brother, who is an elder
in his congregation, told him that he has nothing to worry about for when it
comes to spiritual health I am doing very well indeed. In fact, he told the CO
that I had helped bring some balance into his spiritual life. My brother and his
wife come to visit about three times a year, something I always look forward
to. My situation has helped me understand just how much emphasis we put on
performance and how we are judged accordingly.
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