I am sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time at the moment. It's understandable that under present circumstances we look at ourselves and wonder whether we have taken a wrong turn or made some unwise decisions in the past. But believe me, what you are experiencing is also happening to many of our brothers and sisters in all parts of the world. Not that knowing this is in itself any encouragement, but what might help all of us to endure is to know the reason behind these developments, why they are happening, and that it was all foretold in God’s Word.

The apostle Peter tells us that Satan, our adversary, walks about like a roaring lion, seeking to devour anyone he can, especially God's sheep. He causes us, including you and me, much grief and suffering. Yes, and he can even use as his tool persons who have been entrusted with the care of God’s sheep, the very ones we have learned to trust the most. That is why the Scripture says that the “lawless one’s presence (the man of lawlessness) is according to the operation of Satan,” and this right within God’s own temple, God’s people. (1 Cor. 3:16,17) In acknowledgment of this, Peter said that the sufferings that we are undergoing "are being accomplished in the entire association of [our] brothers in the world." But we are not left without help, for Peter also encourages us to "throw all your anxiety upon [God], because he cares for you," with the assured promise that "after you have suffered a little while, the God of all undeserved kindness...will himself finish your training, he will make you firm, he will make you strong." (1 Peter 5:7-10; 2 Thess. 2:9)

Consider this: When Jehovah brought his people Israel out of Egypt, he could have led them by the shortest and most direct route into the promised land. But he didn't! He purposed to first have them wander in the wilderness for two years. Why? Because they needed to learn obedience and faith, as Moses said, "in order to humble you, to put you to the test so as to know what was in your heart, as to whether you would keep his commandments or not. So he humbled you and let you go hungry," and thirsty, and tired, and hot during the day, and cold at night, etc. It was really part of their training to let his liberated people suffer, for they had to understand the all important lesson that "not by bread alone does man live but by every expression of Jehovah's mouth does man live." They needed to learn, by experience, that their future happiness and success depended on listening to and obeying Jehovah, who would always be there for them.

Although, as it turned out, they did not appreciate any of this, it was really also part of his loving discipline, as Moses noted, "And you well know with your own heart that just as a man corrects his son, Jehovah your God was correcting you." (Deut. 8:2-5; Heb. 12:4-11)

Regrettably, they failed to learn their lesson. In view of their ordeal trekking through the wilderness, they constantly complained to Jehovah, testing his patience with them to the limit. They actually wanted to return to their former situation of slavery in Egypt, having lost all confidence in Jehovah’s ability, or desire, to lead them into the good land “flowing with milk and honey.” (Deut. 11:9) Because of their revolt, Jehovah added an additional 38 years to their wandering in the wilderness, thereby not allowing that rebellious generation to enter what would have been their beautiful home. (Deut. 2:14,15; Psalms 95:7-11)

Jehovah rightly complained regarding them: “Oh, how often they rebelled against him in the wilderness and grieved his heart in that dry wasteland. Again and again they tested God’s patience and provoked the Holy One of Israel. They did not remember his power and how he rescued them from their enemies.” (Psalms 78:40-42, New Living Translation)

We today are in a similar situation. We are about to enter into the promised “new earth.” (Isa. 65:17) But first, immediately ahead of us is the greatest of all tribulations that the world has ever experienced, for Jehovah is going to remove this entire world under Satan’s control. It will never have to be repeated! There will be a “great crowd” of faithful worshipers who will survive that tribulation; no, not on their own strength, but by divine protection. (Matt. 24:21; Rev. 7:9, 14) Like the loving Father that Jehovah is, right now he is preparing us to fully rely on him, yes, by our suffering and by also experiencing his comfort and support in this difficult time of ours. At that time we will be in need of what we are learning now!

Like his people Israel, we need to absolutely rely on Jehovah, and not miss the point. We should view our suffering as discipline, as Moses said—not discipline because we are bad, but rather in the way of teaching us vital lessons. That is what discipline means. We don't want to be among those today who are giving up and want to return to the world, like the Israelites who threatened to return to Egypt.

As you have already come to understand, most of our suffering arises, not from the world, but rather from those who claim to worship Jehovah. Yes, from within God’s own temple, even from believing family members! It is, for the most part, originating from the few who the Bible refers to as the “man of lawlessness,” who claim to have already been appointed over all of Christ’s belongings, including the divine right to beat God’s little sheep when they do not submit, or question the wisdom of their leadership. When we experience suffering at the hands of those who are supposed to care for our well-being, it is difficult to understand why God allows it. That is what makes it so hard to bear, and naturally we may wonder if this really is God’s household, or even if he has one. But Jehovah is well aware of all that is happening. Did he not foretell it? It’s good to keep in mind that he certainly is not the originator of our suffering. (2 Thess. 2:3; Matt. 24:48-51)

You said that you wished Jehovah would provide a large sign to prove to you that you are on the right path. But has he not done that already in all the things that we are now seeing taking place in fulfillment of what he foretold in connection with his people, especially our suffering? The people in Jesus’ day also were looking for a sign from him. (Matt. 16:1-4) The prophecies that Jesus fulfilled, including his many miracles, were not enough for most of them to be convinced that he was the One—the long awaited promised Messiah.

Today, not only has Jehovah forewarned us about our present troubles, even providing us with many details, but he has also explained what he will do to rectify it, and that very soon. Yet, just like in Jesus’ day, many are stumbling over the way that Jehovah is doing things. His ways are so different from the way we would expect things to take place. Thus we often fail to realize the significance and importance of it. (Isa. 55:9) The promises recorded in the Bible, including the one that God’s house will be judged in the near future and all the wicked ones removed, are from Jehovah, and not some group of men. Therefore, we can have full confidence in all of them coming true. We need to learn to rely on Jehovah and trust him—and him alone! That is actually what he requires of us. (Psalms 146:3-5; Rom. 3:4)

Our faith in God’s promises includes the need for endurance, even if it means suffering in the meantime while we are “doing good.” (1 Peter 2:20) Paul encourages us with these words:

³⁶  Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised.
³⁷ “For in just a little while, the Coming One will come and not delay.
³⁸ And my righteous ones will live by faith. But I will take no pleasure in anyone who turns away.”
³⁹ But we are not like those who turn away from God to their own destruction. We are the faithful ones, whose souls will be saved.

We need to continue to have faith because we have not as yet received our reward. We prove our faith by not giving up when the going gets tough! Paul adds to his above words:

“Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. Through their faith, the people in days of old earned a good reputation.” (Hebrews 10:36-11:1,2)

For your own protection, don’t consider material that you find discouraging and could prove a stumbling block to your continued faith in God’s promises, whether it’s on the internet or elsewhere. That part is your own responsibility! Jesus foretold that many would be stumbled at this time. You don’t need to be among them. (Matt. 24:23-25) Many who have lost their faith now question that God has a household. You know that he does! He assures us he does, and that his judgment will start with his household. (Eph. 2:19; 1 Tim. 3:15; 1 Peter 4:17-19) Jehovah also helps us identify that household, so that we are not misled. The present problems, and subsequent suffering that you and so many of us are now experiencing, does not prove that we are not God’s people, but rather the very opposite. It is evidence that God’s prophecies in connection with his people are reliable. And so is everything else that must still develop in connection with these prophecies.

In spite of all the problems, Jehovah’s spirit still resides with his people, with those who keep themselves in his love. That includes you! (1 Cor. 3:16,17; compare Rev. 3:4) Jehovah is well aware of those who belong to him, and he continues to help and comfort them. View your present situation, your problems and suffering, as an aid in strengthening your faith, and to help you develop your endurance. They will enable you to draw close to God. Jesus said that only those who endure to the end will be the ones who will be saved. These words indicate that we should expect to suffer extreme hardships. No need to endure when the going is good. (Matt. 24:13; James 1:2-4)

"We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love." (Romans 5:3-5; New Living Translation)

"Jehovah is near to those that are broken at heart;
And those who are crushed in spirit he saves.
Many are the calamities of the righteous one,
But out of them all Jehovah delivers them."
—Psalms 34:18,19. (Monotype Corsiva font)