We should not want to restrict Jehovah in what he can or cannot do and teach this as fact. If he has done something in the past it is up to him whether he wants to do it again and under what circumstances. There were relatively few people in the past who had experiences as noted above, such as Abraham, Moses, Elijah, David, Daniel the prophet, of course Jesus, but also some of his disciples, to name just a few. What about today?

I come from a large family of eleven children, being the second. My father was baptized as a Witness in 1947 but he never shared his understanding of the Bible with us children. He felt we could learn that at the meetings which we were required to attend regularly. He also insisted that we prepared for the Watchtower Study, with the idea that it would leave us little time to play, which he was, for one reason or another, much against. Being young I had no clue what I was underlining in the magazine but I went through the motion to make it look like I was obeying. I had no comprehension of what the truth was about or anything about God. I remember even cursing God a few times for having to go to the meetings, which I always found awfully boring.

One day, when I was 15 and sick at home, missing school, and having read all my comic books, I reached for the book "From Paradise Lost to Paradise Regained," published by the Watchtower Society, and started  reading it. I could not put it down. I got totally engrossed in it. I came to know who Jehovah is, how he created this earth and lovingly prepared it for the first human couple. I agonized about the rebellion and was saddened over how quickly the majority of mankind turned away from their Creator. How ungrateful, I thought. I didn't want to be like them. I didn't put the book down until I had finished reading it. I wanted to learn more. Since my father never studied with any of us I asked an elderly sister who was studying with two of my sisters.

Strangely, that is when my parents started to oppose me. My father forbade me to study with the sister and even went to visit her to tell her that I was no good and she shouldn't be studying with me. He actually threatened to kick me out of the house if I continued to go to her. I was happy that I had the opportunity to show Jehovah that I really loved him and was able to prove it so soon. But the threats stopped and everything gradually settled down. I was full of zeal and wanted to share what I was learning. I would take my Bible and walk a few streets from home and start knocking on doors, thinking that if people would know what I had learned they too would love Jehovah.

In 1961, at the Vancouver, British Columbia, United Worshipers District Assembly, there were 606 baptized, and I was one of them. I was seventeen. Since I had just been baptized in symbol of my dedication to God—as I understood it at the time—I wanted to immediately prove my sincerity, and while still in the pool I expressed my fervent desire to Jehovah to go in the field service now, in symbol of what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. 27 chartered buses had taken the baptismal candidates to the community pool, the baptism location, and I took the first available bus to return to the Convention site.

By the time I arrived at the field service desk all the territory cards were gone, all except the outlying regions of the city, for which I needed a car, which I didn’t have. Very disappointed I walked away a few steps and turned to Jehovah for help, explaining to him why it was so important for me to go out in the service that moment and not the following day or week. It was this day I was baptized and it was this day I wanted to go preaching. My whole future of serving him seemed dependant on this symbolic hour or so of service. And he heard my prayer, for while I was yet praying to him the brother behind the service desk called my name (I knew him from a neighboring congregation) and he asked me if I still wanted to go in the service. A young married couple was standing there. They were visitors to our city and they too were desirous to go in field service. They had a car and welcomed someone along who knew the area. Of course I went! I thanked Jehovah for having answered my prayer.

The couple of hours spent in the territory was not especially memorable. I didn't start any Bible study and don't even remember if I placed literature; but that was not the important thing to me. I would not even bother relating this if it were not for what followed immediately after I returned to the Stadium. It was around 2 o'clock in the afternoon and the program wasn't going to start until later in the day. I was standing just inside the main entrance of the Empire Stadium to one side, under the bleachers with my back towards a pillar, keeping out of the way of anyone walking by; thanking Jehovah for this special day, and for answering my prayer. I was overflowing with gratitude, and while thus praying I caught sight of an elderly man coming around the corner of the Stadium in my direction. I could not help but notice him, even at that distance, for he had amazing snow white hair upon which my eyes were transfixed. Although he walked in the shade it looked as if the sun was illuminating it. He definitely looked very distinct. My first impression was that he must be an important member of the Brooklyn Bethel, visiting to give a talk at our Convention, as I imagined the anointed to look like this. (Rev. 1:14) But since no one took notice of him, or even stole a glance in his direction, I changed my mind and thought that perhaps he was not that well known and maybe “just” a brother from the Canadian Branch.

I noticed that his walk appeared energetic for his age, which I thought to be around seventy years. He wore a well fitting black suit and tie, white shirt, and carried a black briefcase. Everything about him looked so clean! I hadn't taken my eyes off him, while still talking to Jehovah, as he walked straight up to me, put his briefcase down beside him and held out his hand. I thought he wanted to say hello and so accepted it to shake it. But he took my hand and clasped it with both of his, giving it a friendly squeeze. Then, looking intently at me, he said, “You are a chosen one.”

I was expecting a simple "hello, how are you!" Surprised, I replied with, “Huh? Pardon me?”

He answered back, “You are one of the chosen ones. You are a chosen one,” while still holding my hand tightly in both of his.

I was puzzled, shy and embarrassed, and so asked him, “What do you mean? Chosen for what?”

He said nothing further, just stood there holding my hand, looking at me with his friendly smile. He looked so kind, and I stood there just staring at his awesome full head of glowing white hair. I had never seen anything like it before, nor after this. Then, letting go of my hand, he picked up his briefcase, turned and walked back in the direction he had just come from.

The elderly man had interrupted my prayer. I had been standing there thanking Jehovah for the privilege of dedicating my life to him and promised to be zealous and faithful; and as I now watched him walk away I turned to Jehovah again and asked, “Who is that man that just came to talk to me? Did you hear what he said, ‘I am a chosen one?’ What did he mean?”

And when I said “chosen one,” I remembered having studied about something like that, and as a feeling of wonder came over me I asked Jehovah, “Did you perhaps send him?”

With that thought I felt the urgency to find out who that kind elderly man was. I closed my prayer and started to run after him. I was no more than a few steps behind him when I lost sight of him as he disappeared around the corner of the Stadium. Running, in an instant I also rounded the corner, but there was no one there. Not even a small group of people that he could have melted into. I felt a bit panicky about his sudden disappearance and asked Jehovah to indicate to me, please, where he had gone. I ran into one nearby entrance that went up to the bleachers and out onto the field, and then the next entrance further down, thinking that maybe he might have made it that far, although that seemed obviously impossible. There was no sign of him anywhere! I was perplexed! People just don't disappear into thin air. Scratching my head I wandered around, very confused. This was on the Friday of the five day Convention. For the rest of that day and the next two days I kept looking for him, being sure that I would see him on stage for one of the talks. But I never saw him again.

Who did I think he was? A kind, elderly brother, perhaps a bit nearsighted, who most likely got me mixed up with somebody else. And although I had no clue where he disappeared to I was sure there was a logical explanation, just couldn’t come up with one.

Joy - A Fruitage of the Spirit

After this came the intense desire to be with Jehovah. I thought that was normal as I reasoned that everyone would want to be in the heavens, if given the choice. After all, if you love someone of course you want to be with that person. So I paid no special attention to what was happening inside me. But then something else began to happen. There would be instances when unexpectedly, out of the blue, a tremendous joy would suddenly overwhelm me, and for the moment I would be absolutely certain that I was chosen for the heavenly calling, with no doubt whatsoever. It was always unexpected and not dependant on what I was doing at the moment. It was so certain and overwhelming at the moment that on one occasion I even blurted out to my fiancé, “Wow! I’m of the anointed,” and immediately apologized for the outburst. I had never mentioned my experience at the Convention, nor my feelings and desire to anyone. But every time this occurred I was moved to ask Jehovah if this had anything to do with what happened on the day I was baptized. I always quickly dismissed the thought because I was sure that the number had been made up in 1935, as we have been taught. And besides, I was sure that Jehovah would never choose someone like me, young and foolish, when our Circuit Overseer and elders who were pillars—not only in our congregation but in the circuit, and whom I looked up to and respected—were not claiming to be of the anointed.

The sudden explosions of joy eventually became so frequent that they became an issue and I could not dismiss them any longer. So in the late spring of 1972, one year after I was married, I offered an earnest prayer to Jehovah about it. I apologized for feeling this way, perhaps some deep desire of self-importance I thought, and told him all the reasons as to why I did not believe this hope could be from him. There was 1935, the year the Society says the number was made up. And besides, I told him, if I really was a chosen one then I would have the responsibility of taking the lead in the congregation and setting the example in worship. By now I was only a ministerial servant conducting a book study. I told him that if I really was a "chosen one" then I should be an elder, be giving public talks, and also be used on Assembly programs. Since I was none of that, and a lousy speaker even for a short five minute talk, I felt sure that this was enough prove that I could not possibly be a chosen one, as the white haired elderly man had told me that day. I asked Jehovah to please take that desire away as I felt I had no right to it, and it was causing me a lot of confusion and feelings of guilt.

But Jehovah had listened to my prayer and he was about to answer it. My circumstances changed quickly. I found myself in a new location where there was a need for Witnesses, and by December of that same year I was an elder, giving public talks every three weeks and twice on the same day in two different locations, 50 miles apart. And by the Spring of the following year I had my first assignment at a Circuit Assembly. For three continuous years I enjoyed wonderful blessings along with the joy that accompanies it, having some part at every Assembly. I did not associate the chain of events with my prayer until three years later, when at this particular Assembly I was especially nervous before my part. My stomach was in a huge turmoil and I was afraid that I was going to faint on the platform. I prayed to Jehovah to help me, reminding him of Proverbs 10:22, “The blessing of Jehovah—that is what makes rich, and he adds no pain with it.” But boy, was I in pain!

As soon as I mentioned this being a "blessing" from Jehovah I suddenly made the connection with what I had told him three years earlier in my prayer, that if my hope was from him then I ought to be an elder, be giving public talks and have parts on Assembly programs. I had all that now. I looked at the brothers sitting next to me behind the stage, and awaiting their turn, all pillars in their congregations and the circuit, and what was I in comparison to them. Since none of them professed to be of the anointed I reasoned that neither could I be. So, I told Jehovah that just because I am an elder, give public talks and have parts at Assemblies does not mean I am a chosen one.

Within the month I lost all those blessings, and along with it my joy. I lost my job and had to move back to my home city, to a larger congregation where the elders were of the opinion that they already had too many elders, (eleven) and it took too long to get back on "top of the totem pole," as one put it. (At that time the position of presiding overseer rotated every year.) I was not accepted as an elder in this congregation, and I wondered what had happened to me. (The District Overseer, whom I knew from my previous Circuit, dealt with these elders and their attitude at the next Convention, but before they could recommend me the opportunity opened for me to return to my previous home.)

Nine months later I was again busy and enjoying my former blessings. And again my hope became an issue as the constant overwhelming joy returned. I came to the conclusion that this must have something to do with my being active in the truth, and the more I did the happier it seemed I was. Therefore, I joined my wife in pioneering one full year (100 hours a month at that time) while at the same time holding a full time forty-hour a week job. But that affected my health negatively. Yet, the joy of the hope became so great that once again I had to talk to Jehovah about it. Since I was sure it could not possibly be from him (not doubting what the Society was teaching on this) I asked him again to please take it away, as I had no right to be considering such thoughts.

A Change of Scenery

One day in late spring of 1978 I went up the nearby 7,000 foot mountain overlooking our valley. It was possible to drive three-quarters of the way up to where there was a forestry lookout tower. What an awesome panoramic view from there. Even Mount Robson could be seen in the distance. Then I hiked a further hour, just to make sure I was all alone while wanting to talk to Jehovah about the hope that was engrossing me. Of course, there wasn't a day I did not mention it in my prayer, but I felt I had to go beyond the usual just to demonstrate how much it meant to me and how desperate I was for some sort of an answer. The feeling is much like being crazy in love. You eat and sleep it, as they say, and there is no relieve; but neither do you want any relieve. It is wonderful! It was constantly with me, in everything I did. The time comes when a person must act on it. The time had come once before, and I had received my answer, but it had not been enough to remove my doubts. I can assure you that it is not an easy thing to go against the teachings of the Society, when they conflict with your own thoughts, including their view on 1935. I needed more! Also, I felt so inadequate!

There is no use in asking Jehovah for something he had already given me. I was again an elder, giving public talks in my own and neighboring congregations, and had parts on the Assembly program. I was going to ask for the impossible. Therefore I told Jehovah that if I was truly a chosen one, and if the compelling desire I had was in some way connected with what happened on the day I was baptized, and it truly was from him, then I ought to be a Circuit Overseer, or I should be working in Bethel, or be a missionary or a special pioneer. The very least he would open the way for me to be a regular pioneer, as I believed that the chosen ones have the responsibility to set the example and take the lead, as seemed reasonable to me. Like in the first instance, it was not in the way of asking for a sign but I was simply stating what I thought was a fact.

Before I got down off that mountain and returned home Jehovah had started to answer my prayer even this time, and in a much larger way than I could ever have imagined. He was about to give me a portion of everything I had mentioned in my prayer. A single phone call from my wife's mother in Greece, that my wife received shortly before I returned from the mountain, set things in motion. My mother-in-law had phoned to tell my wife that the doctors had discovered an inoperable brain tumor and gave her only a few months to live. We immediately made plans to go and visit her. It was going to be my first visit to Greece and the first for my wife in over ten years. It turned out to be the most wonderful spiritual three weeks that I had ever enjoyed. Unbelievably, wherever we went on that short visit we were told by the brothers we met that if we loved Jehovah we would move there. Even some non-witness relatives urged us to come and teach them about the new religion my wife had embraced.

When we visited the newly build Bethel in Athens a brother took a personal interest in us, especially when he learned that my in-laws lived in one of the top two problematic territories in all of Greece. He also urged us that if we love Jehovah then we would come to Greece, as there was a real need in that particular area. My wife and I both got the clear impression that Jehovah was inviting us to change territory, to "step over into Macedonia," only in this case it was the Peloponnesus. After fervent prayers and asking for God's guidance in this matter I quit my good job with the Railway, sold all our belongings and moved to Greece in 1980—my wife's place of birth—with our six year old son. The Bethel there immediately appointed us as special pioneers. (By the way, my mother-in-law lived for another twenty years. There had been no brain tumor, or it miraculously vanished.)

We could not have been treated better by the brothers had we been send by the Society. The Circuit Overseer for our area took me along on his visits as I had a car and he didn't. (I had specifically requested a vehicle from Jehovah, as I could never have afforded one, and without one we would not have been of much use. How we managed to get a car, a VW bus at that, and keep it running is quite a story in itself.) I was told by the Bethel that once I was fluent enough in the language I would be put in the circuit work. Jehovah fairly spoiled us by the way he blessed and protected us, but that is a whole book in itself. Our territory comprised a large part of the southern Peloponnesus, and we had many enjoyable and productive Bible studies and experiences.
 

The Time to Act?

Being slow to learn, I again did not make the connection with the prayer I had made up the mountain back in '78 and the blessings that had now opened up to me. I was a special pioneer, working with the Circuit Overseer in visiting small isolated groups of brothers, and went to the Bethel once a month to pick up our allowance, where the brother looking after the Greek field consulted with me on the situation in our own area. We also enjoyed meals with the brothers there, and on one occasion were invited to share a meal with brother Fred Franz who came to visit the Greek Bethel in 1981. I was just bursting with the joy of the hope that had been set before me, for it had become very real and overwhelming. It literally energized me, motivating me in everything I did. There is such a thing as becoming too happy, when the happiness can become an issue and it must find relieve in action. When a person is in love to such a degree he usually takes the action of asking the person of his affection to marry him.

Therefore, one morning in 1983, a few days before the Memorial, as I was getting ready to go out in the field service to invite studies and others for the Memorial, I earnestly approached Jehovah in prayer, again to talk about the hope that was filling me with such joy, that I still felt I was not entitled to. I again mentioned the Society's teaching about the numbers having been made up in 1935, and therefore I still questioned whether my hope was originating with him. 

As I was praying my mind turned to the Watchtower magazine I had just received the day before. I had read the article on porneia, and there was something new. (March 15, 1983) It was no longer scripturally possible to commit porneia with one’s marriage mate and get a divorce. This had been an issue with me when I was an elder in my old congregation. Let me explain:

In 1979, a few months before we moved to Greece, a young sister had approached me and informed me that she was seeking a divorce from her husband, using as a reason what the Society was teaching in the Watchtower on porneia (at that time), namely that a married couple could become guilty of porneia by engaging with each other in acts that homosexuals practice, and thus have scriptural grounds for divorce. I could not agree with the Watchtower's explanation and so my conscience did not allow me to go along with that. That is what I told the other elder, whom I had taken along with me to visit the sister. If he agreed with the Society, and if the sister wanted to pursue the divorce then he would have to find another elder to go with him as I wanted no part of it. When I first read the article on how a husband and wife can commit porneia with each other and actually have grounds for a scriptural divorce I remember holding the article up, in a way of showing it to Jehovah, asking him to do something about it before it caused too much damage in breaking up families. (See  w74 11/15 p. 703 Questions from Readers: Do lewd practices on the part of a married person toward that one’s own mate constitute a Scriptural basis for the offended mate to get a divorce?)

Now I had my answer! The latest Watchtower had corrected what I considered a serious error.

I had not been wrong after all about the matter of porneia within the marriage that I felt so strongly about. Here was the correction. Now, if the Society corrected that teaching then perhaps they would also correct their teaching on 1935. In other words, the excuse that I had used with Jehovah throughout all those long years about the Society’s teaching that the number of anointed was made up in 1935 suddenly went out the window. I could never mention it again. (As we now know, the understanding regarding 1935 did change in 2007.)

So, I asked Jehovah, “why then, does the Society say that the number was made up in 1935 if that is not true?”

Now something happened that we have been taught Jehovah no longer does, although he did in times past. He answered me! No, I didn’t hear an audible voice but inside my head, very clearly I heard the words, “In 1935 the emphasis shifted to the ingathering of the great crowd.”

“Oh,” I thought, “that makes sense.” Instead of the number having been made up it was only a matter of shifting the emphasis to the earthly hope. That, at least, can be proven historically. I have not understood this to mean that it was Jehovah who had shifted the emphasis of the message from that time on, although neither have I ruled it out. I believe that I was simply told a fact: up until 1935 all the literature and public discourses, whether at conventions or in the congregations, talked about the heavenly calling; whereas after 1935 the emphasis was about living forever on earth, such as the great crowd of Revelation could look forward to. (Rev. 7:9,10, 14-17)

Having put that years-long objection out of the way I next told Jehovah that if I truly was a chosen one then I should be a Circuit Overseer, or working in the Bethel, or be a missionary, or a special pioneer. And when I mentioned “special pioneer” it suddenly hit me, "What am I saying, I am a special pioneer!" Immediately my prayer to Jehovah, on top of that mountain back in 1978, came back to me. I suddenly realized that the blessings I was enjoying were in answer to that prayer. It was not all just one great coincidence! There was no way that I could, by myself, even with all the money in the world, have arranged all these developments of the last few years. I cannot put into words the feeling that came over me with that realization. It definitely seemed that what had happened on the day I was baptized was from Jehovah and he had patiently put up with my lack of faith all these years, indulging me by granting my ridiculous requests.

So I said, “that means I must partake at the Memorial next week. (Pause) I cannot do that. (Pause) What are the brothers going to say? They won’t believe me. (Pause) I need more proof that my hope is really from you and I am not becoming presumptuous because of my many blessings.” I suddenly got scared. Fear of man, perhaps. What would the brothers think? What would my wife say! I had never discussed my hope with her. How could I since I had not believed it myself. She had no idea of the motivation that had been driving me all these years.

Now I was thinking of what else I could expect Jehovah to do for me in proof of the hope being from him. There wasn't anything. I had mentioned to him originally that I ought to be an elder giving public talks and having parts at assemblies. He gave me that! Then I told him that if my hope was truly from him I should be working in the Bethel, or be a Circuit Overseer, or a missionary, or a special pioneer, and he had even given me everything of that to the extent possible. I was now absolutely sure, yet at the same time beyond convincing as it all came so suddenly after all these years. I still had doubts.

This would have been a good time to thank Jehovah for the many blessings, for the new information and ask for permission to discuss this matter further a little later. I should have taken time to digest all this! But I'm not that smart. I am too impulsive! Instead, I blurted out, “even if an angel out of heaven were to appear in front of me right now and tell me that I am a chosen one, I would not believe it.” 

And very clearly in my head I heard the reply: “I have already done that for you.”

Immediately my thoughts went to that old man, with the snow white hair, on the day I was baptized, the one who had told me that I was a chosen one, and I answered: "No, that was no angel.” Such an idea had never even occurred to me. I have only recently shared my experience with a few relatives and friends, and strangely, they tell me that that was the first thought that came to their minds.

I needed more evidence, if not for myself then at least for the brothers, to convince them that all these blessings I had enjoyed from Jehovah had not gone to my head. So I told Jehovah that if what he had said, about the emphasis shifting in 1935 to the ingathering of the great crowd, would appear in the Watchtower before the Memorial of next year, like the other correction on porneia, then I would accept the hope with joy and partake, as I would have something to show the brothers, if they were inclined to question my sanity in view of the 1935 teaching. (This appeared five years later in the Revelation book, published in 1988, on page 117. See footnote on bottom.)

The following Tuesday we attended the Memorial with our friends, studies and interested ones, but I did not partake. I could not have even if I wanted to, for we were a small group of 36 persons, and the brother who was supposed to pass the emblems just made a sweeping motion over the heads of everyone with the emblem in hand and pronounced, "No need to pass the bread (later also the wine) as no one here partakes anyways." And I silently told Jehovah, "See! Even if I wanted to partake I couldn't." But for the first time my conscience bothered me about it, as if I was being disobedient. (Now, my present understanding on this is that everyone should be partaking.) Did it matter to Jehovah? Within a month my whole life turned upside-down. In a short time I lost all my blessings. Whereas before nothing could go wrong, now nothing went right. To the extent that I had been filled with overflowing joy I was now distressed to the extreme. Our pioneer days were over. My wife became sick and disenchanted, and no longer wanted that kind of a life, starting a business with a worldly man, the beginning of the end of our marriage. (Psalms 38:1-11)

Further Developments

I returned with my son to my home country while my wife stayed behind with her business partner. Those were terrible years. We had been a close family. Inseparable! We had sold all our belongings, house, furniture, car, even my son’s toys, etc. in order to move to Greece. I had quit an enjoyable and secure office job with the Canadian National Railway, even given up a promotion; and now here I was washing windows, cleaning toilets and starting life over again, trying to provide life's necessities. My son was now eleven years old and the hardest part for me was that he did not have his mother to help him get up in the mornings to make breakfast and see him off to school. With heavy heart I went to work at 6:00 am, five days a week, setting the alarm for him to get up by himself at eight. And he would come home after school into an empty apartment until I got home a couple of hours later. His mother eventually returned several months later, but only to leave us again after a few years. And she blamed me for having ruined her life by the way we had lived it.

The overwhelming joy and constant happiness I used to know were no longer there, and I missed them. In a way I felt actually glad that I had not partaken at that Memorial, as I reasoned that all these terrible things that had now come upon me were proof that I never had the heavenly calling. But that was twisted reasoning, as I did not consider at the time that it may have been for my lack of faith and disobedience. (Compare Jeremiah 44:15-23) I have heard some say that partaking unworthily of the emblems is as serious as sinning against the holy spirit, and at least, I reasoned, I was not guilty of that.

My wife divorced me in 1988, after having a second affair. Two years later I met a sister, a widow, and we became attracted to each other. This sister was one who had herself suffered because of an unfaithful husband, and who had died of cancer before he could prey and involve even more sisters in his affairs. (We are talking about Witnesses, who “don’t do such things.”) With her love and faith in Jehovah I thought she would make an excellent wife. But since my ex-wife had not confessed to adultery, but had simply moved away, the brothers did not consider me scripturally free to remarry.

Therefore, one Tuesday morning I presented my dilemma before Jehovah. I explained to him the whole situation, as if he didn’t already know it. I told him that I wanted to get married again and how my son needed someone to cook proper meals. I also included that if I really make such a lousy husband, as I had been accused of, I did not want to get married ever again. But Jehovah would know that! I told him that in order for the sister and me to get married we needed his help, because my ex-wife never confessed to committing any sins and neither did I have proof to the contrary. And now that she was living on the other side of the continent, it would not be possible to get any evidence against her. So I begged for his help. He could bring into the open what my ex had done in secret. She could hide her actions from the elders but she certainly could not hide anything from Jehovah. (1 Tim. 5:24; Heb. 4:13)

And again Jehovah did what we are told he no longer does; he answered me! Very clearly, with no audible voice, but inside my head I heard two words: "Phone so-and-so!" I did not see how this could be of any help and wondered why I would be told to get in touch with that particular person. I could think of a few others who might have known something, and thus made that suggestion. But again I was told the same, "Phone so-and-so!" For the second time I asked why, not seeing any point in it. And again, for the third time, two simple words: "Phone so-and-so!" I was about to object again when I realized that I was arguing, and so I answered, “Okay, Jehovah. If you want me to phone so-and-so I will do so, but I don’t understand why. If I do get results from phoning this person I will know for a certainty that this is from you, and that you have answered my prayer, as I would never have thought of doing so.”

At this point I should add the little detail that I knew this person only by the first name. As it happened, I had run into so-and-so in a shopping Mall a short time before this, we talked briefly and was given the person's phone number. At the time I did not understand why as I had no reason or intention to ever phone so-and-so. Now, since I still had the number in my wallet, I immediately did as I was instructed. Without going into any details I would just like to say that I got exactly what I needed. Before the day was over I had a confession from my wife, whom I had phoned with the evidence. She even said that if the elders did not believe that she had confessed they could phone her and she would verify it. I was also recording the conversation just in case.

Now something became very obvious to me. I could not claim that this had just been a coincidence that I was able to get this information. It would never have occurred to me to get in touch with this particular person. I was so incredulous that I had told Jehovah that if I was going to get any result from getting in touch with this individual, I would positively know that this was from him. Now that I had the requested result, and that even within a few hours, how could I say that Jehovah does not do these things! That would have been inexcusable.

And then I came to also realize that since Jehovah helped me in this instance, and in such an amazing way, then what happened seven years previous, before that Memorial in 1983 in Greece, when he answered me about 1935 and about “having already done that” for me, in connection with an angel appearing, that also could have been only from him. It seemed that Jehovah had patiently and lovingly, and angrily, maneuvered me into a situation where I would finally understand and cooperate with the leading of his spirit. What amazing love and patience on his part. And I did not miss the purpose of the lesson this time.

This one event was the beginning of finally helping me to understand the blessings I did not understand before due to my lack of faith. And my lack of faith had been influenced to a great extent by what I had been taught by others. Jehovah’s anger blazed against me, but I came to realize that if he became enraged at me for my lack of faith and grieving his holy spirit then most certainly he will also be equally enraged with those who teach us these things, teachings that we put so much faith in but are not from him. (Luke 12:47,48; James 3:1)
 

Finally

Finally, thirty-four long years after my experience on the day of my baptism, I accepted my hope and partook of the emblems at the Memorial. With my partaking I was expecting to have returned to me all those wonderful blessings which had empowered me throughout those wonderful years. But I was sadly mistaken. Life has been a real struggle. Instead of being the example I thought the chosen ones should be, I have become an example to most of what one shouldn’t be. My whole understanding of what the choosing is all about has changed from my previous naïve ideas. I have come to understand that it pleases Jehovah to choose the foolish and weak, the ignoble and those looked down upon, "in order that no flesh might boast in the sight of God," although it might cause him a lot of frustration dealing with ones such as I am. (1 Cor. 1:26-29) A chosen one by Jehovah does not have to be an elder, give public talks or be used on Assembly programs. Neither does he have to be working in the Bethel, be a Circuit Overseer, a missionary or a special pioneer. Where did I ever get those ideas from? But there is still much to learn.

After I lost all those wonderful blessings in 1983 I felt that I had greatly disappointed Jehovah and failed in living up to my promises, in spite of my best efforts. I had a real yearning to go back once more into that Stadium, where I stood that July day back in 1961, when that elderly man with the white hair came, took my hand and told me I was a chosen one. Just to be able to stand on that same spot one more time. It did not seem possible as the Stadium was no longer in use and was boarded up.

Then in 1991 we had a Convention in the newer Coliseum nearby, and the field of the old stadium was used for overflow parking. It was Sunday, the last day of the Convention, and exactly thirty years to the day of my baptism. Since I was directed to park on that field I saw the opportunity to return once more to that place in the stadium, which I did at the noon break. It was a walk of about one city blocks, ten minutes. Although everything was in a bad state of disrepair, I found the place by the pillar, near what used to be the main entrance; and there I poured my heart out to Jehovah. I apologized profusely for having been such a disappointment to him. For about fifteen minutes I recounted all my failings and kept telling him what a failure I had been, and that I might as well give up on myself as I had given my best effort and still ended up only offending him. That's the way I saw it.

As I closed my prayer and started to walk back to the Convention site I heard very clearly in my head, "You have not been a failure. I have been forming you and refining you. Be patient."

Those words have sustained me through the most difficult times after that. It has helped me to readjust my thinking as to why we are allowed to undergo hardships. We need to be refined and made choice of, even "in the furnace of affliction." (Isaiah 48:10) And we need discipline, as the apostle Paul wrote, quoting Proverbs 3:11,12, “My son, do not belittle [the] discipline from Jehovah, neither give out when you are corrected by him; for whom Jehovah loves he disciplines; in fact, he scourges every one whom he receives as a son.” (Hebrews 12:5-6)

Our suffering may well be prove of Jehovah's love for us, his patience in dealing with us and correcting us, and he will never allow us to suffer to the extent that we give entirely up on ourselves. (Psalms 55:22; 1 Peter 2:20-23) Don't we yearn for the time when we will be finished in our refining and training, and reflect fully the kind of person Jehovah wants us to be? That was the last time I had such an experience. I suppose I don't need it anymore for it has carried me through the years.

I have tried to keep this account as condensed as possible. There is so much more that I could add to it, especially about our experiences in Greece, such as our bible study with the chief of police in our district, and the resultant protection we enjoyed; the attempts by the priests to get us expelled from the country and how it turned to our advantage; Jehovah's protection from the groups the priests had formed in various villages to beat us up and run us out of their village, like the one time when a sister with us was chased by a man wielding an axe; my wife's affliction by the demons and how Jehovah helped me to identify the source of the problem and what happened when I acted on the information; to mention just a few subjects.

I hope that others may find encouragement in realizing that Jehovah is very much involved with his people today, and if he has blessed me in some way then he will certainly bless others even more. I also pray that others will learn by not imitating my lack of faith in not accepting blessings that we have been told Jehovah no longer does or gives. Many lost out in Jesus' day because of their lack of faith, for they could not be convinced that God was still doing the things he had done in the time of their prophets, and so they rejected God's own son in spite of all the miracles he performed as signs to confirm his identity. Of course, that was because the people preferred to listen to their religious leaders rather than to God. Jehovah has still much to teach us, but will we have the faith to accept it?

Addendum

From all my experiences I have learned that Jehovah is still very much involved with his people today. That of course means that he has a people, a household that he recognizes as his and of which Jesus is the head. All my blessings have been in connection with worshipping Jehovah within this arrangement. As I learned over the years, we are not beyond making mistakes, of which I myself am guilty of making many. But, thankfully, Jehovah is "slow to anger and abundant in loving-kindness and truth." (Ex. 34:6)

I also learned over the years that our trust in Jehovah is never misplaced. True, sometimes we can get backed up against the wall with problems and seemingly no way out, but whenever that happened Jehovah would always come to the rescue in some wonderful way that showed the help could only have come from him. In Matthew 6:33,34 Jesus obligated our heavenly Father to provide for us when we live our lives in harmony with seeking first the kingdom and his righteousness, and I have experienced that promise is as good as a guarantee. It takes time, though, to build full confidence in his promises as we feel so unworthy of his care. And yet, his blessings were often much more abundant and generous than I could ever have imagined. Truly, Jehovah "is very tender in affection and merciful." (James 5:11)

We are now living in "critical times hard to deal with." (2 Tim. 3:1-7) All the things the apostle Paul foresaw concerning the "last days" we are now experiencing within God's own household. Many have become discouraged, perhaps confused and decided to give up and drop out. But we need to endure. A few "false prophets" are now going around proclaiming that God does not have a household. Do not be taken in by them. You can only discern what Jehovah is doing in connection with his people by remaining within his household. You cannot do that from the outside looking in. Jehovah still deals with his people in connection with the arrangement that he himself set up at Pentecost. He has foretold that he will judge his household even before he does the world. He will cleanse us and refine us because he loves us.

Although I have personally experienced Jehovah's care in a wonderful way over the years I am certain that there are many, many others who can say the same. He cares for each one of his sheep on an individual basis and we can be certain that the best is still ahead for all of us. Remain loyal to him. Trust in him. Stick with his household and prove yourself an encouragement to others. Attend meetings if that is at all possible. And continue to proclaim the good news of the kingdom "in favorable season [and] in troublesome season." (2 Tim. 4:2) Jehovah is blessing all who are loyal and patiently enduring. Experience for yourself just to what extent Jehovah is still involved with his people today.